My little men

It's hard to believe but tomorrow Tommy will be two months old! I heard somewhere recently (General Conference, possibly?) that with raising small children the days are long but the years are short, and that certainly rings true in my life as of late. The past few weeks have sped by in spite of feeling on some days bedtime will never come! Overall, though, I think our family is settling into life with two kids as well as can be expected. It definitely is a transition, although (so far) not as difficult for me as becoming a mother for the first time was.  When Miles was born I worried and obsessed about every minute detail of his well-being, and then worried some more and then obsessed some more, often about things that really didn't warrant such concern. This time I feel like there is at least a little less worrying going on, partly because experience taught me a lot and partly because I just don't have the time or energy required to obsess that way. The word exhaustion only begins to describe how tiring having a new baby and a two year old is! I just keep reminding myself that before I know it these baby-rearing days will have flown past and I will be missing all the cuddling and cooing of my babies and the spunk and curiosity of my toddlers, and that makes it easier to enjoy each day in spite of the fatigue. I have to admit that lowering my expectations for how clean my house is, how long my work-outs are, how much sleep I get, and how much time I get to myself also has helped with the transition. It is much easier to feel satisfied with my day if I make keeping my children happy and healthy my goal each day and forget that other stuff to some extent.

Over-all I think the addition of Tommy to our family has been the hardest for Miles. As was expected, it was hard for Miles to get used to not being our #1 priority all the time, and he would get aggressive with Tommy and "act out" when he  wasn't getting the attention that he wanted. Below is exhibit A of this behavior: no amount of threatening or explaining could keep Miles out of the baby swing.

After lots of practice with figuring out how to meet his needs for attention and redirect his energy, and after lots of talks about why Tommy needs gentle love and care from both Miles and Mommy, Miles does seem to be starting to adjust relatively well. He already seems eager for the day that Tommy will be big enough to play with him and he seems to generally be taking on the role of big brother. Miles cannot keep away from Tommy, smothering him with kisses and hugs, forcing toys into his hands or face, scrubbing him in the bathtub, demanding that I pick him up when he cries, and asking me where Tommy is when he is not in the room with us. It really melted my heart when the other night Tommy was asleep in bed before Miles, and when I went to take Tommy out because he woke up and fussed Miles told me, "Don't take him out!" and really wanted Tommy to stay and sleep with him. That has been one huge blessing: although bed-time and mornings are a little tricky when they are both sleeping more lightly, amazingly enough they seem to be doing great sharing a bedroom. I have very high hopes that these boys will grow into close, loving buddies.